Honestly, Anxiety

by Kites

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about

Written by Kites in the late months of 2013.
Vocals and Lyrics by Andrew Evans, Guitars by Joshua McIntee and Michael Potter, Bass by Matthew Evans and Drums by Mathew Cockill.
Recorded by Marcus at Metric Recording Studios.
Mixed by Matthew Templeman.
Mastered by Simon Struthers at Forensic Audio.

lyrics

I woke up at 7 o'clock am,
waiting for my alarm to tick over,
waiting for my heart to stop beating
or at least for the sound to fade.

I woke up at 7 o'clock pm,
waiting for my alarm to tick over,
waiting for my heart to stop beating
or at least for the sound to fade.

I can't see what I am anymore.
Every step i take down the hall,
every long long step I have taken
feels like I am viewing,
feels like i am looking out on:
What i'm forced to see,
not what is real.
What I'm forced to be.
All the walls were grey
like the sea I drowned in.
I drowned a long time ago.

Am I in my home
Or am I dying in the exact place I never thought I'd be?
Am I maybe somewhere else?
Am I anywhere at all?

The world is nothing.
The world is everything to me.
And I'm gonna disappear sometime,
so i'll drink some drink some more vodka,
I'll share a beer with myself,
but we'll never kiss
because I'm scared and I'm nervous
that this is just treatment
and the walls and my bed and the shower are just a psychosis.
The air tastes insipid.
Another night, another drink
Another night I drink alone
the liquor kills the pain or numbs it at least
Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!
Another loved one's died, is the blood on my hands?
Is the blood on my hands?
All that I feel is the shaking and all that I feel
has been taken
Shaking, shaking, suffocating, shaking
Breathe in, breathe out, cigarette,
cigarette, i feel a little bit better now
Wait I don't want to die in this place
that's barely a house, barely even a structure
(I am beautiful. I am not a monster.
I am not anxiety. I am not anxiety.
I'm not going to hurt anybody)

Am I in my home
Or am I dying in the exact place I never thought I'd be?
Am I maybe somewhere else?
Am I anywhere at all?

Please let me go,
I need to be alone.

credits

released January 31, 2014

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Kites Perth, Australia

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