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I spend about ten minutes drawing a picture of a man
WIth a rope sat precariously by his knees that lay heavy on the ground
I've spent about twenty years being alive
with thoughts intentions and feelings,
Making friends,
Falling in love,
And feeling the suns presence in my chest.

And I've spent that last six months
Dwelling in a past of whiskey and blood stains.
Regretting the person I became,
Tasting the pain in the back of my mouth.

Has the life I've lead, lead to where I am
Or was it predetermined by some other universal force
A set of strings that are attached to the rest of existence
Is the voice in my head really my voice?
Is the voice in my head really my voice at all?

What could I have done differently
Was it decided prior to the events?
Was it some lesson taught by some god-like being?
I needed to feel.
I needed to feel.
I needed to feel.

I know I don't know much about nothing
But I know that there's a space for me
And a space for you too.

And I'll spend an indefinite amount of time on this Earth
In the middle of this massive, messy universe.
And I want to see you smile.
I want to see us all smile.
In spite of the darkness that infects this world
And infects my soul.

And I want to thank the Sun for giving me my life, for giving me warmth
And I want to thank the Earth for giving me my home, for giving me air to breathe
And I want to thank my mum and dad for giving me a love to hold onto
And you, suffering Other, you gave me my fear.
I needed fear.

I am still alive.
I can trust you eyes,
I can feel the light.
I can feel the light.


from The Shining Light Inside Me and the Shadows Cast, released February 11, 2017



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