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lyrics

I wake deliriously hungover to a drone
In a funereal space.
I turn the lamp light on,
throw away the blankets.
Stagnant and empty,
The air like warm wine frozen in time,
Filling the space of a chest.
Didn't really get anywhere with that rest.
Sleep hasn't been here in a long time.
Sleep hasn't been here.

Sleep hasn't been here in a long time.
Sleep hasn't been here.
Head rises like a smoke cloud,
With a crack in the neck that's blindingly loud.
Thoughts and memories billow out,
Never found, never cared for again.
I never cared for life at all.
I never cared.

And then comes nothing
And after that a long walk.
Dimmed brightness is a peculiar thing.
It kind of feels like a disease
That fills the trees and their leaves,
The rotting veins of people's lives.
Every human face devoid of any meaningful thing,
Only their tires eyes and their insidious lies.

Or was that only what I perceived.
I still see the monster in me.

Sleep hasn't been here in a long time.
Sleep hasn't been here.
Not even halfway there, wherever there may be
Hunched over the footpath, vomit on the curb.
Every missed moment replaced, thrown out of a gut
All the wasted, forgotten time spilled over a shirt
The airs changed, the worlds a blur.

I've forgotten what it was to feel alive.
I don't remember where I was going
Or what I was meant to be,
But I know the disease was me.

The disease was me.

I feel still
And I'm closing my eyes.

credits

from The Shining Light Inside Me and the Shadows Cast, released February 11, 2017

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